Flashback to ten years ago.
I’m knee-deep in my three-bedroom rental home, trying to figure out how to make the last few years of my life fit into one U-Haul.
I rented the smallest truck that could tow a trailer so I could pull my Camry behind me. That meant a bathroom-sized U-Haul for everything I owned, plus my little car. My dog, 20+ potted plants, and mom (who kindly made the drive with me), rode up front in the cab.
Everything else—furniture, decor, books, clothes, shoes, hobby supplies, my sewing machine, dog toys, boxes of old school assignments, a pantry full of spices and cans—had to fit in that truck.
And it wouldn’t!
So I kept asking myself the same questions, over and over:
What could I go without?
What could I stand to lose?
What could I SURVIVE getting rid of?
Well…all of it. I wouldn’t die for lack of any of these things.
But that framing was crushing: What can I stand to get rid of? It carried so much mental and emotional weight that I felt completely paralyzed. I couldn’t make a single decision.
Approaching decluttering through the lens of: “What can I stand to get rid of?” was much too big of a question to ask. It came with a mental and emotional weight that made me feel so overwhelmed I couldn’t make a single decision.
I realized this when I was sitting cross-legged on my kitchen floor, cardboard boxes, packing paper, and tape spread around me and… my mug collection.
I held one mug in each hand, staring back and forth between them, while fifteen more sat in neat rows in front of me like obedient little soldiers.
In what world do I need nearly twenty mugs? I had one mouth and two hands.
One mug was from my grandfather—the one I used every morning. Holding it flooded me with memories of us sitting on his porch, identifying bird calls and watching the sunrise together.
Another mug was handmade by me in my first ceramics class. Blue glaze, sloppy yellow stars, mostly symmetrical. It wasn’t perfect, but it made me feel brave. It made me feel like I could try new things that intimidated me.
These two mugs mattered.
The other fifteen? Thrifted. Promotional. Secondhand finds. Cute, sure, but replaceable.
I carefully wrapped my grandfather’s old mug and my blue starry creation, situating them in a box to come with me.
And I said goodbye to the rest.
That was the moment everything shifted.
I stopped asking, “What can I get rid of?”
And started asking, “What do I love enough to keep?”
That question changed everything.
Ask a better question.
Decluttering gets easier, and kinder, when we flip the question.
Instead of:
- What do I hate enough to let go of?
- What can I survive losing?
Ask:
- What do I love enough to keep?
- What do I love enough to clean, care for, store, and mentally keep track of?
- What actually makes me happy to own?
Choosing what to keep turns decluttering into an act of love, instead of a self-flagellating chore fueled by guilt and misery.
Keeping what you love + Container Method
One of my favorite ways to declutter with less decision fatigue is to combine love-based keeping with the container method.
Here’s how it works.
1. Choose a category.
Let’s keep mugs as our example.
2. Choose a container.
Let’s use one shelf in a kitchen cupboard.
3. Organize by favorites.
Put one mug on the counter. Grab another and place it to the left or right, depending on which you like more. Repeat.
This sounds abstract, but it’s surprisingly intuitive. You’re not deciding keep or toss—just which do I like better between these two options?
By the end, your mugs will be arranged from most-loved to least-loved.
4. Fill the container.
Place mugs into the cupboard starting with your favorite. Stop when the space feels comfortably full.
Everything else gets decluttered without the agony and without second-guessing. You let your space decide for you, and you’ve already saved your favorites.
You’re keeping what you love enough to care for, rather than asking what you dislike enough to discard.
Care reveals what you have too much of.
Decluttering becomes easier when it fits into your lifestyle. You don’t need to become a hardcore minimalist. But becoming more conscious of how much stuff you own (and how much effort it takes to maintain) changes everything.
One of the fastest ways to identify excess is to actually care for what you keep.
Clean it, organize it, repair it.
If maintaining a category feels burdensome or exhausting, that’s valuable information to have! It usually means you have too much of that category.
Caring for your belongings actually builds affection, so you can stop feeling drowned by stuff and start feeling supported by it.
It’s a great mindset shift to make to ease the burden of decluttering, encourage more mindful consumption, and help you to be more present in your daily life.
Using love-it decluttering on products.
If you have several versions of each product you use–lotions, mascaras, shampoos, cleaning sprays–I’d like to challenge you: Only keep your favorite.
Here are steps you can take to simplify your product collection and live a happier lil life:
1. Get rid of what you know you won’t use. There’s no reason to waste storage space for items you’ve already tried and don’t like. If the products are unopened (or just mostly full, for some donation options), look into donating them.
2. Use-it-up decluttering. Keep one version of each product accessible (one shampoo, one conditioner, one mascara, etc.). Store duplicates out of sight. Fully use the current product before you grab the next one. This minimizes what you keep in your functional space, relieves stress, reduces clutter, and makes decisions easier.
3. Don’t replace until needed. Coupons and deals are fine when it’s something you already love and use regularly. Otherwise, pause the impulse buying and use what you have until it runs out.
4. Upgrade responsibly. Want to switch to something more sustainable or higher quality? Awesome. Use up what you already have first.
For example: you might see a shampoo bar that’s plastic-free, lasts twice as long, and donates 100% of profits to a great cause. That’s genuinely cool. (And probably something from Good Store. Use code “nourishingminimalism” at checkout for 10% off your order 💜)
But you know what’s even more sustainable?
The shampoo already in your shower.
It costs zero extra resources to finish what you own. When it’s gone, then try the upgrade. Without guilt and without waste. This makes sustainable living or transitioning to minimalism have a significantly lower entry fee.
Bonus question: Would you clean poop off of it to keep it?
Rachel dropped a bomb on the decluttering game when a pipe burst in her home, dumping raw sewage into her basement and all over what she had stored there… Read her story here.
Her decluttering question was forced to become: Do I love this item enough to clean poop off of it?
She’s a genius.
Decluttering doesn’t have to hurt.
When you choose what you love enough to keep, you’re not losing anything. You’re curating a life and home that feels light, calm, and intentional.
I hope this mindset shift is exactly what you’ve been needing to tackle the clutter in your home and mind.
Want more guidance? We have a free checklist of 100 items you can declutter easily. Grab those simple wins to build momentum and make real progress:
