A while back, I ran across an article: How to Host a Crappy Dinner (And See Your Friends More Often). It’s an inspiring article about being real.
Most of us want to hang out with friends more often, but when you think of having someone over, do you stop when you think of all the work involved?
Cooking a nice meal, cleaning the house, trying to keep the kids behaved and then all the clean up after guests leave… It’s exhausting just thinking about it, let alone following through with it, right?
What would happen if you were real with your friends? If you asked them to come and hang out and you didn’t sweep the floor or make sure all the toys were picked up?
Do you think their home is that much different day-to-day?
How would it be if we were just real with our friends?
Before I became a minimalist, I would spend two days or more cleaning the house (read: stuffing things in boxes and taking them to the basement so I could clean, sweep, dust, and vacuum all the surfaces I hadn’t seen in six months) just so someone could come over and eat a meal with us.
Now, I have minimized everything in the house, so the surfaces are open and I can clean them easily. But I don’t stress about it anymore when people come over.
A “crappy dinner party” is just a low-effort, low-expectations gathering that can enable us to see our friends more often.
Crappy dinner party rules.
Okay, here’s what you do.
1. No cleaning beforehand
This might be hard for some of us, but not if we’ve decluttered and developed a cleaning schedule! If you’ve done those two things, your home should be in relatively good shape at any time.
So don’t go crazy deep cleaning your house for a crappy dinner party! That ruins the point!
Beginner’s Guide To Minimalism
2. Wear what you’ve got on
Similarly, don’t worry about making yourself look overly presentable. Wear what you’ve already got on, and encourage guests to do the same!
3. No host gifts
While you’re telling your guests to show up looking frumpy, tell them to skip the host gift, too. So often, there’s a pressure on guests to provide something like wine, chocolate, or flowers. That’s just one more step between you and a chill night with pals.
4. Easy menu
If you’re aiming to feed people, there are a few easy, low-effort ways to do that. You might just cook a little extra of your regular evening meal. Or you could get guests in on it:
- Everyone brings a bowl of leftovers from their fridge.
- Everyone picks up a party pack from their favorite fast food place.
- Everyone cooks a meal together only with what’s in your kitchen.
Or maybe you just grab a pizza. The only rule is: LOW EFFORT.
Why’d we stop being social?
Slowly, capitalism has degraded our social connections. People are more independent, more private, more selfish.
That’s not how humans are built. We’re built to be with each other, to collaborate, to love, to spend every day with other people.
But if we were friends with our neighbors, sharing affection and resources, what would that mean for capitalism?
We could have one lawn mower for the whole block that we share. We could have communal tools and equipment. We could all use Bob’s car lift to change our oil.
Everything we share takes dollars away from some mega corporation who wants to sell to ALL of us.
If you’re the company producing the lawn mowers, you don’t want people to be friends with their neighbors. You want people to be individualistic, to solve problems themselves, to not worry about the people in their community.
The simple act of lowering barriers to casual socializing is wildly anti-culture.
Will crappy dinner parties alone bring us a collaborative, peaceful utopia where people care about people again? No. But I think it is an easy, small step we could take right now that will bring us closer together and strengthen our communities.
So leave your house and your outfit the way it is and invite your friends over to be real with one another.
