Christmas is a wonderful time of year, steeped in traditions and memories. It’s a time to reflect, enjoy people around us, and appreciate what we have.
If you’ve been working to simplify your home, rid your life of excess, and want to have a special Christmas while avoiding all the commercialism and frazzled feelings that can prevent a truly joy-filled holiday season, here are seven actionable things you can do.
1. Say “no” more.
If you are connected to the community in any way, especially with kids, you know how easy it is to fill up the calendar in the months of November and December.
There’s the church crafts, potlucks, choir dinners, youth parties, project angel tree, filling shoe boxes, then the community gatherings–school, neighborhood, clubs you are involved in, etc.
Then there’s company parties, extended family gatherings, friends that you’ve celebrated Christmas with for the last 13 years…
The evening and weekends can fill up so quickly! Sit down with your family and talk about which parties and obligations they enjoy and want to participate in.
Set a realistic amount: 1-2 things a week tops. Then decline the invites to the rest. Don’t feel bad. “No” is the only tool you have in keeping your calendar parred down to the point where you can enjoy this season.
You can achieve a more meaningful Christmas by committing to less and really focusing on what you enjoy and what matters to you.
2. Focus on the special relationships in your life.
When you are deciding what things are important to include and what things you should let go this year, keep the focus on the people.
If you have the choice between spending the day with great-grandma at an ice cream social or making costumes for the Christmas pageant: Look ahead 10 years and ask yourself what you would be glad you focused on more.
Intentionally spend time with your children. Go to the library and pick out some Christmas books, read books that relate to your family’s heritage.
Bake cookies together or look up a simple paper craft. Keep it easy: No need to make cookie dough from scratch or commit to reading one book every day for the month. None of the activities have to be monumental–just leave margin in your week to be with your children. Those are the moments they will remember every Christmas season.
Take time to spend some romantic time with your partner. Slow down and sit at a coffee shop for an hour together, just the two of you, or plan a home date night after the kids are in bed, where you can slow down and enjoy each other.
3. Give beyond your comfort zone.
We are taught to give out of our excess, but there is so much joy received when giving beyond your comfort zone. This doesn’t have to be limited to financial donations, though it does feel good to make a large donation to an organization that you believe in.
This may also be reaching out to a lonely neighbor, inviting people who don’t have family nearby to participate in one of your family Christmas traditions, or keeping warm clothing items in the car to give to anyone less fortunate that is out in the weather.
Think of ways to truly make a difference to someone instead of only keeping the focus on yourself and your immediate family. Try to get your kids involved in something heartfelt for their community.
4. Set realistic expectations for the Christmas season.
Life’s great disappointments follow unmet expectations. If you have an ideal of what kind of parent you have to be during the holidays, how many homemade gifts you need to give, or what kind of Christmas dinner “qualifies,” then it’s time to have a sit-down with yourself and be realistic with what you can accomplish, what you are likely to accomplish, and let go of the perfectionism you are holding yourself too.
Likewise, let the rest of the family know what to expect: If you are cutting back on the number of gifts given to the children, tell them.
If you want them to give more to others, help them accomplish that. If you want your teens to be involved in the holidays, let them know what you expect of them–if you will be keeping phones turned off during certain activities, or leaving the phones on the table.
Sometimes kids aren’t happy about having to participate–that’s okay. Do it anyway. As long as they are there, don’t worry about their attitude. (Often, they long for the connection and holiday traditions, but they are struggling with how they perceive them as young adults.)
5. Keep the important traditions (you don’t need a Christmas tree).
Talk to your family, find out what they love and makes Christmas feel like Christmas to them. Don’t worry about following tradition for tradition’s sake.
If no one likes prime rib, have something else for Christmas dinner. But if everyone wants to make Grandma’s popcorn balls, then plan out an evening to get them done. Spend some time talking about Christmases over the years and see what was special in the eyes of each person.
Don’t forget to have the parents participate! What was special in your childhood Christmases? Share those memories with your children and if your family wants to let go of a tradition that has lost its specialness, and embrace a new tradition, then make it a point to do that and put it on the calendar so it gets done.
If it’s a pain to pull a Christmas tree out of the attic, or cut one down yourself, then skip it!
6. Decenter gift giving.
Taking gift giving out of the #1 spot during the holidays can be difficult, but decentering it can allow for you to create your own family traditions, make lasting memories, and have a more meaningful Christmas.
How do we decenter gift giving? Here are some options.
Free Christmas gifts.
Free, creative, and homemade gifts are often more meaningful than something expensive, bought with little regard. To decenter gift giving, focus on fewer, more meaningful gifts rather than overbuying.
Here are free Christmas gift ideas.
Four gift rule.
Keep things simple for your kids by following the four gift rule: Something they want, something they need, something to eat, and something to read.
That’s honestly plenty.
Keep stockings simple (or don’t do them at all).
Stocking stuffers are minimalism’s biggest holiday season enemy. They’re often stuffed with useless little gadgets and plastic items that will be forgotten right after they’re pulled from the stocking.
Try this list of consumable stocking stuffers for some better ideas!
I think it’s nice to open stockings on Christmas Eve–it drags out the excitement and allows the kids to focus on what’s in front of them instead of rushing to open the next thing.
7. When you’re there, be present.
During the activities you have planned, make it a point to turn your phone off, leave it in your purse or in the other room. Look into other’s eyes when they are talking to you.
Watch the movie all the way through. Play the game and drink hot cocoa without posting it to Instagram.
When you bake the cookies with your children, make sure that is the only activity you are doing. Don’t check your email, or have a kid’s show on TV in the background. Sit and wait for the cookies to bake and talk to each other.
With our technology-infused culture, this can be difficult. We are so used to turning on the phone when there is a lull in the conversation.
But resist the urge and commit to leaving technology untouched a length of time.
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