Are you ready to jump into minimalism and embrace simplicity in your home, but want to know how to get everyone else in the family on-board?
When you are ready to commit to minimalism, call a family meeting and discuss what minimalism means to you and what it would look like for your family.
- Ask everyone to list reasons why they would like to live minimally. (More family time, less time spent cleaning their room, etc.)
- Ask them to list reasons why they wouldn’t want to live minimally. Discuss their concerns and fears without judgment.
- Be open about your own reasons that you would like to live minimally, and your hesitations.
Keep in mind that it can be very overwhelming to think of getting rid of things. It can take time for the idea to settle in and be comfortable.
If you have younger children, it’s okay to set a limit on possessions–as parents, it’s our job to guide them in healthy living, and the younger we start, the easier it is.
If you have older children, be gracious with this change and allow them to come to a lifestyle commitment on their own. If they are very resistant, make sure they have their own space, left untouched, while the rest of the house is clearing out. The mood will change, and most of the time, they will decide to join in.
In the end, if no one in your family wants to join you in a minimalist quest, that’s okay! You can still sort through your own items and the things you use in your home.
Be respectful of others, no matter how frustrating it may be. Keep in mind that if something bothers you, then you are the one who has to do something about it. If there is a pile of papers to be filed and no one else seems bothered, take a deep breath, let it go, and go file the papers! Don’t hold it against others in your home.
Whether we like it or not, our actions teach our children far more than anything we say. If you want to help your family, you can only do so by helping yourself first. What do they tell you to do on an airplane, in the case of a problem? Affix your own oxygen mask before helping others. You have to make sure you can breathe before you help anyone else.
When I first began my minimalist journey, we weren’t living big. We had a rundown house, old furniture, dated decor–and honestly, I was embarrassed about it.
But I found that when I got rid of my shopping habit, stopped looking at ads, and found hobbies other than wandering through trendy decor stores, our dated house didn’t bother me. After a few months of avoiding “dreaming” about new items, I began to appreciate the items that were in our home, and the quirkiness of the house became charming to me.
Our house was built in 1882. If you’ve ever lived in an older house, you know what we’re up against. Not one of the doors is the same height. The light switches are in awkward places, the window heights and heater vents aren’t standardized, and that all puts a big limit on how I can arrange furniture. But since I’m not ogling the DIY magazine or scrolling through home decor pages on Pinterest, I’ve found contentment with it all.
The house functions the way we need it to. It serves its purpose well. Now that we have less clutter everywhere, the fact that there is no coat closet isn’t so noticeable. Though there are seven of us living in approximately 1,300 square feet, the house feels open and spacious.
I became content and peaceful through intentionality and clearing out what didn’t serve us.
Focus on family, not consumption.
As I talked about my shopping habits in the lessons I’ve learned from being a minimalist, I’ve learned that less stuff actually means I like my space more. I don’t need trendy couches or sleek new shelves to enjoy a space. Instead, I got rid of more, and then there was more room for people.
Before, when we had so much stuff, we tended to do things so we could avoid stuff, now that things are taken care of and out of the way, it’s easier to be spontaneous, to pull out a board game or walk to the park.
We have learned to come up with things to do that don’t involve buying:
- Trying new recipes at home
- Picnicking with sandwiches instead of going out to eat
- Going to the park instead of the mall
- Reading books
- Being crafty instead of shopping
We’ve found that creativity is pushed when we try to use up what we have–not when we buy new supplies.
Using what’s in front of us brings a sense of accomplishment, a creative boost, and more money in the bank.
Some of the best recipes in our family have come from doing a pantry challenge.
We feel our best in the clothes we already own, because we’ve eliminated the clothes that make us feel frumpy.
Using up “trash” for art projects is way more fulfilling than buying out a shelf of craft supplies at Michael’s.
Minimalism means buying more carefully, not buying nothing.
As you move along in your minimalism journey, you’ll find that you are no longer shopping for “good deals” all the time, but rather each purchase is made after carefully thinking it through and deciding what product would fit your needs the best.
Create goals together.
Sitting down with your family and talking about what you want your home and family life to look like is vital to this journey you are on. Pull out a sheet of paper and dream–ask everyone what they would like the home atmosphere to feel like.
Ask what they imagine doing in your home in a year, or five years. Do you want your home to be the neighborhood hangout? Do you want the house to be company-ready so hosting is enjoyable? Do you want to have everything tidy at home so you can spend more time camping, biking, boating, or traveling?
Plan out a fun thing that the whole family would enjoy, and do it after all the rooms are sorted.
You can set a goal to go to a movie after each room is complete, or plan to get rid of a certain number of items each and then celebrate with an outing.
It’s okay to go slowly.
Decluttering is a process and, for most, it takes time. That’s okay. Don’t rush yourself or your family. Taking small, regular steps towards minimalism is much more effective than pushing yourself and burning out.
This isn’t a process that will change you overnight. You have to sort things and make decisions. You have to evaluate what you will keep in your home. If you run through the house and pitch everything without processing it, you run the risk of it being only a temporary change.
Instead, remember that slow and steady wins the race. Take on projects that you know you can complete in a couple hours, so you can celebrate the victories. Each victory gets you closer to your end goal.
Most people have to go through each area two or three times before they feel they completed it.
As you revisit each area, you find that you think through items with more surety. Decisions become easier. You’ve learned what you really enjoy, need, and use, and you also know how wonderful it feels when you’ve simplified.
Make decluttering fun.
The easiest and best way to go about anything with children is to have fun in the process.
- Listen to fun music and dance your way through.
- Use a chart of graphing paper and mark each item gone–have each family member use a different color. (You might try our free yearly decluttering challenge for this.)
- Plan something fun after a big task is done–get ice cream, play a family game, walk to the park.
- Quit while it’s still fun. If you notice that your patience is wearing thin, or the family is under emotional stress with a particular job, finish up what needs to immediately be dealt with, and come back to it after a few hours, or maybe the following day. Protect your working time so that it continues to be a pleasant process.
Empower kids: Give them leeway in deciding what to keep and what to toss.
None of us want to be forced into something. Often, children can be even more reluctant than adults to have something thrust upon them. Talk them through the process.
When you’re decluttering with them, compare duplicate items and talk about which one they will keep. Ask why they don’t need both of them so they think through it and understand for themselves.
Talk about when you have purchased something that you thought would improve your life, but you see that it’s just taken up space (which is actually a hindrance instead of a help). Then ask what items in their room are like that.
It’s normal to want something and believe you will play with it and use it all the time, and if you find that you don’t, that’s quite all right!
Talk about how commercials make us feel like we should be using it, and so we feel like we’re abnormal if we don’t enjoy it like they said. This cognitive dissonance is a normal part of the deception of consumerism. Let them know that it’s good to pass things on we don’t enjoy.
Talk through the feelings that come up–are you sad you didn’t complete a project? Did someone special give you an item that you feel bad about giving up?
Remember that you are teaching your child how to handle the rest of their life. Learning to make decisions is going to give them self-confidence. Learning to walk through their emotions is going to help their perspective as they grow and mature.
Praise.
Whatever they decide to get rid of, be excited about it. Kids will keep the oddest things, and get rid of stuff that we often think they should keep. Of course, if they decide to get rid of the teddy bear that they cling to every night, you need to talk them through that and help them understand that they would be upset without it.
But for the most part, you need to encourage them as they let go of whatever they want.
Remember that it is positive! Don’t bring your own emotions/guilt/shame into what your child is doing. If they want to get rid of the stick horse that Grandpa made because they have never played with it, then let them! And praise them for seeing that someone else will get enjoyment from it.
Clap your hands and jump up and down if they get rid of something that needs to go. Exclaim how beautiful, free, and happy their room feels. Tell them when you are proud of them, and talk about how great it is that they are learning how to make good decisions.
Rewards.
Celebrate your successes. Before you start your projects, gather everyone together and talk about things they enjoy doing as a family. What sorts of activities does everyone enjoy? Sports events, sight-seeing, museums, parks, zoos, music, local food trucks? Write down a list of fun things everyone would enjoy and plan out which ones to do after a project is completed.
Planning out experiences will help everyone see the tangible benefit to embracing simplicity.
Talk about the reasons.
Talk to them about your why. What is the end goal in decluttering your home?
Less cleaning, more fun times with family? More hobby time, travel time, the ability to invite people over at a moment’s notice? Having pleasant surroundings?
Talk through it–talk about the pros and cons of simplifying your possessions and eliminated excess.
Create a Family Challenge.
You can create some specific challenges and games that address problems in your house or areas you’d like to improve.
Give kids a star if they put their shoes away when they walk in the door. First person to fill up their stars gets to pick the next movie or game on family night.
Set a goal to get rid of a certain amount of toys and when it’s reached, head out to the zoo.
See if everyone can go all week without setting anything on the coffee table.
Try something like this decluttering scavenger hunt or participate in the Mins Game next month!
How to get your family to declutter.
All in all, each family is totally unique in its strengths and challenges. Here are things to keep in mind:
- Children haven’t been around for very long–be patient with them.
- Communicate, communicate, communicate. Express your concerns, ask and answer questions, address their worries.
- Don’t rush the process.
- Make it fun and rewarding.
- Point out the benefits of the decluttered space.
- Start with YOU and your stuff. Lead by example.
Got a hesitant partner? Here are three tips to get your spouse on board for minimalism.
