How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed at Home: Simple Steps to Find Calm

Have you been feeling overwhelmed with your home lately? I get it. I have 6 kids…and all the stuff that goes along with them.

When I think back 15 years ago, I was in the thick of it all: The stuff, the dishes, the laundry, the school work, plus church commitments and school activities.

I felt like I was barely keeping my head above water. Our house was small (in U.S. standards – 1200 sq. ft) and our stuff was abundant. Not to mention the depression that was a fairly constant companion.

Pulling myself out of the “Slough of Despond” was a struggle. But getting my home in order was a big part of that, the overwhelmed feeling decreased, one little bit at a time.

How To Stop Feeling Overwhelmed At Home

Here are my fall-back steps every time I feel overwhelmed.

1. Do the dishes.

This is the number one fallback because it makes SUCH a huge difference so quickly. It’s one of those tasks that seems bigger in our minds than it actually is. Why is it that we always make the task seem bigger and badder than it actually is? (More on this in a minute!)

Having the daily chores hanging over our heads is such a weight and out of all of the chores- dishes can be done fairly quickly. Even just one load makes the house feel a little more under control and gets rid of the nagging thought in the back of your mind of “I still need to do the dishes.”

2. Clear a surface.

My two choices are either the table or a kitchen counter. It honestly doesn’t matter what surface you clear, but having a place to “rest your eyes” makes one feel calmer.

I like clearing a kitchen counter, because then I have a clean workstation next time I head into the kitchen–and, let’s face it, with this many kids, I’m in the kitchen most of the time. 😅 Having clear, clean kitchen counters feels like a big sigh of relief when I walk into the room.

It means I can prepare the next meal without having to clean up first. Which means I’m already winning!

3. Do one thing on your to do list that you’ve been procrastinating.

Most of the time, when I’m feeling overwhelmed, it’s because I have something I need to deal with, that I really DON’T want to deal with.

Perhaps it’s calling the dentist’s office to make an appointment. Maybe it’s driving to the post office to mail that one package. It may even be filling out a form on the school website. I don’t know what it is about all those things that seem so horrible. When I think of any of those things I’m filled with dread, and then when I actually do it? It takes minutes to complete the task.

Now, actually doing one thing that I’ve been procrastinating is actually very hard. BUT when I’m feeling overwhelmed and out of control, I have had to force myself to just do the thing.

Just pick up the phone and dial the dentist’s phone number. Just drive to the post office and get the package sent.

Is it fun? No… but afterward, your brain can take a break.

4. If you’re struggling to take action, follow the 5-second rule.

I’ve talked about the 5-Second Rule before, but it’s one of those tools that I come back to over and over.

The idea is: when you get a thought of something you need to take action on, you don’t allow yourself to think (when we think about it, we end up talking ourselves out of it- like, when my brain tells me how much of a pain it would be to go to the post office, how uncomfortable the conversation will be with the clerk, etc.) instead of thinking, you count down: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 – and then GO!!

We know that when the countdown ends, some sort of action will take place. When you think “I should take out the trash.”

Don’t even let yourself think any more about it–count down right then and there: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and go take out that trash!

5. Allow yourself to be imperfect.

We all get overwhelmed.

Life is messy, houses get messy. We can’t do it all, and we certainly can’t do it all perfectly. And that’s okay.

When I am feeling the most overwhelmed? It’s because I’m requiring too much of myself.

For me, that was scrapbooking, sewing all my kid’s clothes from repurposed fabric, homeschooling kids, cooking from scratch, having a garden, preserving everything from the garden, teaching Sunday School, singing in the choir, participating in Bible studies, selling my crafts on Etsy.

Yeah…no wonder I was overwhelmed.

We require so much of ourselves and then get frustrated when it’s too much. You can’t be the perfect superwoman, and that’s okay.

Productivity is not a measure of morality. Your worth as a person is not defined by the value you bring to others. You are inherently worthy.

6. Lower your standards.

If you were a clean and tidy person before you had kids, and now feel like having a clean house is simply impossible–you are not alone.

Kids take a lot of work. And after you sweep the floor, they will run through the house with dirty shoes.

Will the house ever be spotless again? Maybe, when they’re older.

But you know what? It doesn’t matter. It’s okay if there is dust on the floor and you can’t see your vacuum lines.

Your cleaning goals can shift from what your home looks like (vacuum lines on the carpet) to simply knowing that you vacuumed that room once this week. And once is enough.

7. Declutter your house (when you have the energy).

I reduced the amount of stuff in my home, so that my weekly cleaning tasks would be easier to do. You don’t have to go full blow minimalist like I have, but decluttering the items in your help can help you stop feeling overwhelmed more effectively than anything else I’ve ever tried.

If you’re curled up on the bathroom floor battle an anxiety attack, don’t try to launch yourself into a decluttering spree now. Wait until you feel good to begin. But when you’ve got the mental and emotional space, decluttering can be a major tool in your Chilling The Heck Out toolbox.

How to get started decluttering.

Your entry point to decluttering can be whatever appeals to you.

You might start by shoving all of your extra stuff into one room to give you instant access to more space.

Or you can start with this complete guide to decluttering your home.

Or maybe you’re looking for something more accessible, like an easy list of 100 things you can declutter right now or these teeny tiny steps you can use to get started.

The ultimate goal is to have a daily routine that helps you combat overwhelm, break tasks into easy steps, and create a system that helps your whole house function in a way that serves you.

8. Implement a weekly reset.

And I’ve accepted the fact that I’m going to see random cat hairs on my white floor throughout the week–and it’s okay, I’ll clean them up on Saturday when I do my weekly reset.

My goal is to clean each room weekly and then the rest of the time–simply live without thinking or stressing about cleaning.

Give yourself a break when you feel overwhelmed.

“But I haven’t done the things I need to do yet–“

Are your kids fed? Are you fed? Is everyone alive? Fantastic. Sit down.

Even if you don’t feel you’ve “earned a break,” our bodies make us feel overwhelmed on purpose. Negative emotions are a signal that something is wrong.

What does your body and mind need right now? Before you turn to worry about problem-solving your surroundings, look inward.

The self care checklist.

When you feel overwhelmed, pause. Take a deep breath. Spend an hour or so tending to your physical and mental health.

The kids can be messy for a few minutes longer. If they’re safe and relatively happy, take a step back.

Look inward and ask yourself these questions:

• Am I hydrated?
• Am I fed?
• Am I clean?
• Am I rested?
• Am I speaking kindly to myself?
• Do I have to pee?

Try to see to those things! Drink water, have a snack, take a quick shower, and go pee! Why do you procrastinate peeing?? Stop that!

Self-talk is crucial. You don’t need to make yourself feel bad–the world will try to do that for you. You need to be your own friend and stop putting impossible standards on yourself. Remind yourself that you’re human, your emotions are valid, you can’t control everything, and it’s okay to ask for support from your loved ones. You don’t have to struggle alone, and you don’t have to be hateful to yourself.

Sometimes just taking a minute to let those overwhelming feelings pass over you is massively helpful. So sit down in the quietest spot you can manage, find some mindfulness, and get attuned with your body.

Then we can turn our attention to the messy house and take steps to combat chronic overwhelm.

What if your situation is more serious than clutter stress and negative self-talk?

Allow me to get a little personal for a second–does your stress and overwhelm just come from your physical surroundings and inner monologue, or is there another source of strife in your house?

Your home should be a place of refuge and peace for you. If someone is disrupting your peace, begin to investigate that. Awareness is the first step to getting the support you deserve to change your situation.

Even if you don’t think that this section applies to you, I just want you to keep it in mind. Most people that this applies to, don’t think that it does. And if your first reaction reading this is defensiveness, notice that.

Call 1-800-799-SAFE or text START to 88788 anytime you want to talk with someone who cares, ask questions about your situation, or seek further resources.

Moving forward.

The main thing I want you to take away from this is to go easy on yourself. It’s important to make moves toward improving your life and surroundings, but beating yourself up about is not going to help. Talk to yourself like you’d talk to a friend.

Work on blocking out the unnecessary noise, streamlining your processes, and implementing systems that will make your life easier.

And don’t forget to grab your free 30-day home challenge to give yourself an easy head start!